Love is generous

by Fr. Joey Gonzaga

Love does not seek its own interests; it is not self-seeking but other’s seeking. True lovers seek to love more than to be loved. Loving generously means loving freely, fully and really.


Indignation or irritation does not help because it provokes in us an interior hostility that makes us avoid people who irritate or annoy us. Pope Francis has this piece of advice: “Our first reaction when we are annoyed should be the one of heartfelt blessing, asking God to bless, free and heal that person.” (AL, no. 104)

Forgiveness seeks to understand other people’s weaknesses. Yet forgiveness does not cancel the obligations of justice.

If we are recipients of God’s unconditional love, we must in return become givers of love and mercy to others. This implies that we learn first to understand and forgive ourselves. As Pope Francis tells all of us: “We need to learn to pray over our past history, to accept ourselves, to learn how to live with our limitations, and even to forgive ourselves, in order to have the same attitude toward others.” (Amoris Laetitia, no. 107)


One does not truly love when he/she is happy while the other is suffering. Love rejoices at the good of others only when the lover sees the dignity of the beloved and values his/her as person and his/her good works.


To bear all things has something to do with the use of our tongue. It means “limiting judgment, checking the impulse to issue a firm and ruthless condemnation.” Instead of speaking about the weakness and faults of the other, it is better to focus on his/her goodness and strengths.

There is no perfect love. In fact, “love does not have to be perfect for us to value it.” (Amoris Laetitia, no. 113)

True love believes all things. It means that “love trusts. It sets free, it does not try to control, possess and dominate everything.” If a boyfriend tries to know every detail of what his girlfriend is doing to the extent of confiscating her personal phone and accessing her facebook account, this is an indicator that he does not trust and therefore does not truly love her.

True love encourages and deepens sincerity, honesty and transparency. For those who know that they are trusted and appreciated, they can be open and hide nothing. But, for someone who is always suspicious, jealous, judgmental, this person will tend to keep secrets, conceal his/her feelings and weaknesses and pretend to be someone other than he/she is.


Love does not despair realizing that the other person is capable of changing, developing and maturing.

When we love, we embrace the total person his/her past, present and future. When we fall into despair, we only consider the present. But, love has a future. And true love does not despair of the future.

Love endures all things. It means that “love bears every trial with a positive attitude.” True love does not give up, because God does not give up on us.
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